BY KARI OLFERT, THINKSASKATOON
There is more to winter than putting on your toque, buying the warmest trendiest jacket and buying boots that your feet will stay warm in but also look great (but not much more). You can thank your ancestors for that. I would really love to know what their vision was for future generations, unless their brains were frozen or they were knee-high in summer spurred optimism. Either way, I’m cold and will do ANYTHING to not be reminded that my fingers are perm-numb. Here are 10 Tips for Surviving a Saskatoon Winter:
Helpful Tip #1Plan for winter to last until May! This may sound counteractive but if you actually decide that winter is an eternity long, this will give you the psychological bounce to bunker down and smile until at least January 27th and from there maybe its time to drink more to block or blur the white and the never-ending arctic cold. Remember the cold stays until May, not April because when April comes here and we get that snow dump or cold snap that could send you unto a serious spiral back down to hell where the other optimists poked their little heads out to early and declared Spring!
Helpful Tip #2Remind yourself that only the Strong Survive. Not just ANYONE could survive our winters and fake a smile to talk about it, you’re special and also strong.
Helpful Tip #3Paint a tropical room. Seriously whether it be your tv/computer room or just a random wall in your house, use some ridiculously bright paint and decorate the living hell out of it. Make it a tropical beach or whatever your favourite colour is! If you lean on the side of bold you will either have deep depressive regret in March or you will have made your favourite retreat until things warm up.
Helpful Tip #4Turn it up! Crank your heat, close your blinds and get some super bright light. Seriously have you tried cranking your heat to a balmy 26 so that when people come over they take off their sweaters, ask you if you’re crazy and why is it so hot in there!? Meanwhile you’re in your shorts and quite certain that you still have sanity on your side but haven’t really given it much thought because you’re so warm and smiling. Sure the bright light has given you a constant source of uv rays, but you’re happy and isn’t that really what it’s all about anyways? Some people are jealous. What were we talking about…it’s so bright that I need some water and where them shades at?
Helpful Tip #5Work on your secret mission to conquer the world or a goal or some other realistic ninja $hit. Seriously winter is a GREAT time to completely hibernate and get wicked on some random or long-term goal you have been fixating on. Just like the bear in spring you leave your cave and enter the world new and awesome. What long winter? Psh. You got completely awesome at X!
Helpful Tip #6Do the typical February getaway, drink and tan the sadness away. NO ONE ever comes back from a trip in february where they drank and tanned, depressed. They could have just split up with their sig other but they’re not sad, nope they are tanned and still have the vacay buzz. Usually if you are able to wait until last-minute(ish) there will be deals to find, if you’re open as to where you are going and 5 star isn’t a necessity or you don’t mind chillin’ in phoenix. It’s better to be warm and drunk, than cold sipping water, that’s what I always say.
Helpful Tip #7Buy the warmest most expensive jacket ever! You will be wearing it for 8 months straight, buy the best damn jacket you can or get 3 and have even more fun not freezing and looking and feeling like a friggin’ Saskatoon rock star, big fish little pond we know how you roll, in style because you my friend have kick a$$ style!
Helpful Tip #8Stock up on toques. Have a toque for every day of the week. The beautiful thing about a cold Saskatoon winter is that there are days when you never even have to touch a brush to your hair, because you have that sweet toque and its cold enough to go indoors for an hour and keep your hair under wraps. Buy 7 toques!
Helpful Tip #9Get a Skidoo. When in Saskatoon…right? I am not sure that I will ever understand our bent determination to get all stocked up on camping gear when we only get 2 months of the goods. Owning a skidoo seems like a no brainer to me. You’ll be driving that thing to work at least one day this year.
Helpful Tip #10Do something fun! Bundle up and go out and do something! Tobogganing, dog park with your feline friend, skating, anything!
I have done all of the work for you, all you have to do is take action. Do you have any helpful tips for surviving a Saskatoon winter?