BY KARI OLFERT, THINKSASKATOON
(because we are people too)
As you know Saskatoon people are the nicest people in Canada maybe even the world and possibly the universe. We also do not say no, relatively speaking, in regards to other Canadians. We like yes but more than yes we like to avoid no. Take the test. Here are 88 questions to ask a Saskatoon person today.
1. Are you from here?
2. Did you go to school in Saskatoon?
3. Do you know (think of someone you know from Saskatoon)?
4. Are you related to (think of someone different from the last question)?
5. Can I have your shoes?
6. Can I have a ride?
7. Can I just have a sip of your beer?
8. Do you have a smoke I could bum?
9. Do you like your job?
10. Could you buy me a coffee?
11. Do you like cats?
12. Could you hold this while I text my mom?
13. Are you on twitter?
14. Are you on Facebook?
15. Are you surviving the weather?
16. Can I use your name for an article I am writing?
17. Can I take your picture?
18. Did you want a shot of tequila?
19. Can you recommend a dentist?
20. Want to get a coffee?
21. Are you a dog person?
22. Are you busy?
23. Did you brush your teeth this morning?
24. Do you have any gum?
25. Can I have a piece?
26. Does this mole look normal to you?
27. Do you have hair on your toe knuckles?
28. Have you been out tobogganing yet this year?
29. Is it cold enough for you?
30. Is it hot enough for you?
31. Do you smoke anything medicinally
32. Is that your real hair?
33. Is that your real hair colour?
34. Did you have cereal for breakfast?
35. Do you floss?
36. Do you have a pen I could borrow?
37. Are you happy to see me?
38. Have you laughed today?
39. Can I have a hug?
40. Do you like the way your jeans fit?
41. Are your feet tired?
42. Is that a new toque?
43. Have you had a cold in the past 3 months?
44. Do you donate blood?
45. Have you ever volunteered?
46. Do you like beer?
47. Do you want a beer?
48. Do you feel healthy?
49. Do you have an iPhone?
50. Do you hate me?
51. Want a ride?
52. Can you proofread this for me, it’ll only take 5 minutes?
53. Do you think I’m crazy?
54. Do you feel that you’re having a good hair day?
55. Eat fruit?
56. DO YOU EAT FRUIT?
57. Do you have keys on your key ring?
58. It’s the thing that holds your keys. Do you have one?
59. Do you like seasoning salt?
60. Do you like ice cream?
61. Want to go have some ice cream?
62. Ever read a book written by a Saskatoon person?
63. Ever had Saskatoon Berry pie?
64. Do you have a garden?
65. Like cheese?
66. Like pizza?
67. Are you drunk?
68. Can you walk in a straight line?
69. Can you touch your pointer finger to your nose and recite the alphabet backwards?
70. Me either! Don’t you just hate some people?
71. Could I use your lip chap?
72. Can I lick your sucker?
73. Are you happy with your current internet provider?
74. Are you lactose intolerant?
75. Do you ever just want to punch someone?
76. Do you have any cash on you?
77. Do you have any credit cards on you?
78. Can I have your SIN number?
79. I have a cheque, can we use your bank account to cash it?
80. Come here often?
81. I need to pee…will you take me?
82. Do you like the sky?
83. Ever been on mushrooms?
84. Do you like comedy?
85. Are you constipated?
86. Do you shop at Walmart?
87. Did you see someone you know when you were shopping at Walmart?
88. Do I know you?
Seriously I DO know you. How many ‘yeses’ did you get?